1. I am more likely to be killed by a vélo (bicycle) than by cars/muggers/Albanian mafia from Taken combined.
2. Apparently American-accented English is “cute.”
3. Occasionally, not knowing how to say things in French has prevented me from saying things I will later regret. Like “If I have to put your dishes away one more time, I’m going to break them over your head.” Or “For the love of God, would it kill you to put the seat down?”
4. The reason the French are “rude” is because they have perfected the art of the thousand-yard stare without eye contact. They do this because making eye contact invites the random men drunk on the street at 3 p.m. in the afternoon to start talking to you.
5. It is impossible to get lost in Centre-Ville. Based on the color of the original street signs and the street numbers, you can figure out cardinal directions. After that, all I have to do is go east towards the Canal du Midi.
6. After climbing Montsegur (the last Cathar stronghold), medieval warfare makes so much sense. Would you want to climb up this hill wearing sixty pounds of armor when you could just sit at the bottom and wait for them to starve instead?
Photo by Adam Baker, used under Creative Commons License.
7. When my host mother says "I know Americans like their meat well done, so I cooked it longer," that means that the meat is only bleeding on the inside.
8. There are cheap theatre tickets, tea salons and pastry shops everywhere. Plus Leonidas chocolate.
a.I may not come home.
9. I’m kidding about not coming home, Mom.